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 Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism

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NILLOC
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PostSubject: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Wed Oct 01, 2014 9:59 pm

Rockyism is a faith based on the belief that the universe was created by a sentient rock made up of all the matter in the universe by blowing itself up and ascending to a spiritual world. 

The followers of this faith believe that Rocky then created the deities Shrek, Abigail, Arnold and Pasha to act as extensions of himself from the spirit world. 

Abigail: It is stated in the holy Bibble that Rocky made Abigail to light the stars so mankind could see. She is a being of violent rage that is worshiped by warriors like the Wyatt family. The Bibble states that after an attempt at destroying the universe, Rocky sealed Abigail into a powerful weapon. The whereabouts of this weapon are unknown. 

Arnold is the deity of health and muscles. Many in the medical field revere him and pray to him often to aid them in the treatment of the ill and injured. 

Shrek is the god of love and life, as life often springs from love. He is depicted as a large green ogre-like being in many contemporary artworks though the Bibble doesn't mention his appearance. It is said that Shrek plants the seed of young into young boys when they come of age. 

Pasha is a deity worshiped by thieves and scoundrels. Rightly so, as he is the deity of swag and trickery. Historical records show a man matching his appearance and claiming to be him living among men as far back as 10 years ago. This being is recorded to be going from town to town tricking people and causing misfortune. This backs up claims by the church that Rocky banished him from the spirit world and stripped him of his powers after he drunkenly tried to assert himself as the supreme being. 


Rocky's Path

Many of the church believe that Rocky has a path laid out before everyone and it is up to them, with guidance from the Bibble, to follow it to it's ultimate end. This end comes in death when the person's body returns to Rocky's ground and their spirit ascends to Rocky's plain of existance.


Last edited by NILLOC on Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:56 pm; edited 10 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Wed Oct 01, 2014 10:34 pm


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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Wed Oct 01, 2014 10:39 pm

Holy Pasha that's fucked up.
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Wed Oct 01, 2014 10:47 pm

That Abigail shit makes me think of that movie "House of 1,000 Corpses". Y'all know, the horror movie directed by Rob Zombie. Fucked up movie.
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:03 am

Ahahaa we go down to the river and pray ahahaa CHEH!!!

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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:09 am


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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:30 am

Thanks to these god damn videos you're posting Dan, Youtube thinks I want to watch WWE junk.
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:09 am

Wink

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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:38 am

Great I had all this written down and the website crashed so lost it all.

Anyway I'll just go through the points real quick.

1. NILLOC wow favorirism much?
2. I guess you don't understand there isn't multiple religions. We made the ultimate religion by commiting  ourselfs to several gods.
3. I joked about it before but if you commit to one single god, even if it's rocky than something is still wrong with you.

Do you not believe in love or life?
What about good strength and bravery?


Yes shrek is used to represent love but that's doesn't mean it represents being raped and fathers Committing sucide.

You're suspose to support all the gods.
You pray to shrek for love and life
To Rocky for order and justice
To sister Abigail for mercy so she doesn't send the buzzards at you.
To Arnold for strength and courage.

Also it's been decided I am the god of Swag and Logic.
Pray to me children!


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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:12 pm

Ok, so there are 5 divines in Gulch. However some followers of the Church of Rocky believe that Pasha, you're just a man, not a god. So some believe there are only 4 divines.
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:18 pm

Fine by me. Just don't complain when justice isn't fair.

Because "some people" don't believe in justice apparenty
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:22 pm

Motherfucker, two posts ago you stated that Rocky was the god of justice. Which is it mother fucker ? You flip flopping like Mit Romney !
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:40 pm

Rocky doesn't appericate your attitude towards me.
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:42 pm

Listen if you don't support me you either don't have swag or you're crazy.
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:47 pm

Then I'm just fucking crazy!

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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:50 pm

I don't need SWAG, I have Sweg
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:53 pm

Do you take me for your god in gulch?
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:55 pm

No, you're like that old Persian king, Xerxes. You think you're a god but you're just some bald nigga.
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:56 pm

Then you lack swag you speak of.
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:27 pm

Who needs swag when your a panda?¿!¡
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Fri Apr 24, 2015 4:09 am

Sheogorath is the only god I need. The god of infinite cheese and mutilated corpses!

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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Fri Apr 24, 2015 4:39 pm

Pebble and Rocky=lyf
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NILLOC
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Fri Apr 24, 2015 4:42 pm

Adjutant Reflex wrote:
Sheogorath is the only god I need. The god of infinite cheese and mutilated corpses!
If you want to run for council you can't worship a false god. Nobody will vote for you.
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia's Religion, Rockyism   Fri Apr 24, 2015 10:51 pm

Mexican religion for the win
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