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NILLOC
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Wed Jan 29, 2014 1:23 am

Gulchtopia Express Issue Number: 16
Originally Published: January 7, 2012
Written By: Mayor Nilloc

Mission Accomplished
As we all know Gulchtopia was overrun after an elite terrorist attack blew up the zombie wall and we had to abandon the Gulch. However we have re-taken it. Yesterday 1/6/11, a BD task force personaly led by NILLOC 916 ( the mayor and leader himself ) the force had all possible assets ranging from Tanks Falcons, and Warthogs



The search and destroy mission went off without a hitch. A primary force consisting of black skulls dropped in on the roof of the appartment building and dropped into the building by supine's appartment and stealthfully killed all the zombies in the building.

Then the white skull forces rolled in and killed the rest ofthe zombies. The damage from the attack and infestation was immense but the mayor had these few words to say

We took a hell of a licking when the wall fell, but we retreated, we made a line in the sand and held it. And now because of the sacrifices of the brave men and women of BD, I kept my promise that we would return. Now I issue a new promise, we will rebuild !



Illegal Racing Puts Moterists Lives In Danger
It has been rumored lately that a certain business owner named BD River, who is seen here staring at a hooker.

Has been and is planing to opperate an underground ( and illegal ) racing circut where everyone puts up money and the winner takes all. The police plan to kill or arrest these people and possibly raid known hangouts.


Last edited by NILLOC on Mon Apr 14, 2014 4:54 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Mon Feb 03, 2014 4:45 pm

Cool
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Mon Feb 03, 2014 5:22 pm

Thanks for your input
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NILLOC
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Mon Feb 03, 2014 6:02 pm

Seriously, Prime, one word comments fall under "goobidy goop"

===================
"I am Nilloc 916, and I am here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to lord over the poor and have them fight to the death?

'No,' says the man in Washington, 'that's fucked up.'
'No,' says the man in the Vatican, 'Your ass needs Jesus.'
'No,' says the man in Moscow, 'we're all poor.'

I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose...

Gulchtopia.

A city where the rich would not fear the poor,
where the scientist would not be bound by a lack of test subjects,
where the great would not be constrained by the small.

And with the sweat of your brow, you can lord over the poor of Gulchtopia, as well."
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Fri Feb 21, 2014 1:15 am

I remember the good old days when I had a falcon.
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Fri Feb 21, 2014 9:24 am

Kaboom did a good job as a news reporter. Someone should take his job. I might do it if there's money in it. I would also need to learn how to put pictures I take on reach onto the website.
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:03 pm

you copy the image URL then you click the icon that has a picture with a + on it. After that you paste the image link, and it's suggested that you put 750 for the width and 500 for the height.
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:10 pm

Where do I get the picture URL? Is it from bugie.net?
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:13 pm

no, you go to halo waypoint, then to reach, then fileshare. If you want to get someone else's pictures, you need to download and put them on your fileshare.
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:18 pm

Oh shit it works!


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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:19 pm

Dude if you'll pay me for this then I'll be the new news reporter!
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:24 pm

How's about g250 for every new issue, the issues come out on Mondays. Issues need to cover all the week's stuff.
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:28 pm

Sounds good. I'll start gathering info about this week and get started for Mondays edition.
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Fri Feb 21, 2014 1:53 pm

#Active
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Mon Apr 14, 2014 4:58 pm

Gulchtopian People Magazine Issue Number : 1
Originally Published: July 31, 2011
Written By: Little Pinkie Pie


*This contains no reference to the actual magazine!*

Hello, my name is LittlePinkiePie. For security reasons, and to prevent my own terrible assassination, all people who I interview, give me the right to publish their thoughts, their jobs, and what they generally do! This includes when they first arrived in Gulchtopia, all the way up till now! As well as a list of people to watch out for, and even reader submitted articles! The list will be updated every so often from magazine to magazine, showing who's dead, who's missing, and even a small review on the Gultchtopia Gazette! So enough of the boring! Lets get to the party!

First and foremost, my Interview with myself. People can ask to be interviewed. Or Else I'm going to ask them.

Q: How long have you been in Gulchtopia?
A: I'm still technically not apart of the town. When I first arrived, I saw the news reports of the Gazette, claiming to watch out for terrorists. About riots, by elites and violent murders. Of course, being the writer I am, I decided this place is perfect!

Q: What do you have planned for when you become a full citizen?
A: The usual! Set up a home, and see what the world is like. You know, meet the people, and might even set up a business!

Q: What sort of business? Does it have to be approved by the mayor?
A: As far as I am aware, the Mayor, Nilloc, must be informed! I simply want a simple business. Possibly a gun shop, or a special investigator shop! I love meeting people!

Q: Like a spy?
A: Investigator. Finding out what happened and things!

Q: Whats your thoughts of the Mayor thus far?
A: Given the history under his... Council, I say he deals with crisis easily and governs properly. With the cooperation of the Local Police force, they seem to be able to handle the Terrorist Threat, and the riots with care, and precision. Of course the reports of the accidental murder of a innocent, are rather curious... But it doesn't seem to be a reoccurring issue.

Thank you for your time Pinkie Pie! Don't get yourself shot!

Now some Ads! Paid for by those who wanted them placed.

Little Pinkie Pie, Private Investigator! No job to small.

Thanks for reading! And as always, bug the Mayor to let me in the city! Oh... and to get me a knife. Using my hands leaves finger prints.


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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Mon Apr 14, 2014 4:59 pm

Gulchtopian People Magazine Issue Number : 2
Originally Published: July 31, 2011
Written By: Little Pinkie Pie



Hello readers! Today I bring word from everybody's FAVOURITE Mayor! Nilloc!

I got an interview with Gulchtopia's secretive leader!

1.Q. Who are you and what do you do ?
A. I am the mayor I keep the cops in control, edit the map, keep track of all the money, and make the people stay at their jobs.

2.Q. What do you expect in the futue ?
A. Growth, zombie attacks, and more crazy -blam!-.

3.Q. When did Gulchtopia start ?
A. Well you can say it started on 2/4/11 but I realy all started back in BD CITY about a year ago.

4.Q. What do you have to say about Gulchtopia.
A. It is the best city in New Jackson

5.Q. What do you normaly do in Gulchtopia
A. I normaly sit in my office and people come in and ask for help with their problems. Then when that is done I go to the city and keep people in their jobs and help the cops from time to time.

6.Q. Is there a City Council.
A. NO

7. Q . Do zombies realy attack Gulchtopia ?
A. Some times.

8.Q. What do you have to say to the cops ?
A. They need to arrest people more instead of just killing people.

9.Q. Being the mayor must be stressfull. What do you do for fun in Gulchtopia ?
A. I kill hookers. JUST KIDDING. I read when I am not busy.

10.Q. What do you have to say to the people of Gulchtopia ? A.Stay at your -blam!- Jobs. And listen to the cops.

Most of the questions were about the affairs of the Police, and how they kill the people... and not arrest them.

Police Brutality is wrong! Killing someone for no reason will end badly... Maybe even getting shot by the Mayor himself! So listen to the cops folks! Or the Local News paper might be writing about you... and how many shots you took.

Speaking of the News Paper Counterpart to this magazine, it seems some things were said. On behalf of Faces of Gulchtopia we say: "You got the news, we got the people. We find the troublemakers... You find neat ways to name 'em."

Of course Faces Of Gulchtopia is new. Formerly named Gulchtopia People Magazine... Until we almost got sued! We apologize to the real owners of People. And also add U mad?

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
Due to the increased amount of deaths, in Gulchtopia, I have to advise you all to avoid the combat when it arises. Simply run and hide! Don't get yourself killed foolishly!
Listen to this.


Thats all for this issue of Faces of Gulchtopia. 
Stay alive! And message me if you want to be interviewed next!
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Mon Apr 14, 2014 5:10 pm

Gulchtopian Gazette Special Coverage of the Arena Part : 1
Originally Published: June 14, 2011
Written By: Mayor Nilloc


THE ARENA DAY ONE


So the first day of the arena was today. It was very violent. Lots of blood was spilt in the hopes of $5,000 and a nice house. The contestents were
- Lifeless Riptide - Acted Stephen
- BlueDeathBomber - Gdawgs
- Oseji - Deranged 11
- Doomknightomega - Shortsize
- Daddy Yankee 62 - aaron2-blam!-3
- A box of Leet - DeadByDawn 
- Vickey Eyes

Sadly Lifeless, Gdawgs, and Shortsize couldn't come

Still the game continued. 

Here is a list of all those who died. And those who killed them
DAN KILLED BY ACTED STEPHEN



ACTEDSTEPHEN KILLED BY DAN



DOOMKNIGHTOMEGA DROWNED



BLUEDEATHBOMBER AND AARON KILLED EACH OTHER



VICKEY KILLED BY ACTED STEPHEN


The survivors were oseji, deranged, daddy , A box.

The next game is tomorrow at the same time
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Mon Apr 14, 2014 5:14 pm

Gulchtopian Gazette Special Coverage of the Arena Part : 2
Originally Published: June 15, 2011
Written By: Mayor Nilloc



So it was night in the arena today. And it was the last day.
Here are the people who died

OSEJI WAS KILLED BY DADDY YANKEE




A BOX OF LEET WAS KILLED BY DERANGED AFTER A LONG BLOODY FIGHT







HOWEVER DERANGED'S VICTORY WAS SHORT LIVED AS HE WAS KILLED BY YANKEE





SO THE VICTOR IS DADDY YANKEE. 

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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Mon Apr 14, 2014 5:27 pm

Minecart Express Issue :1 (Minecart Express was a paper we used for the minecraft version of Gulch)
Originally Published: March 28, 2012
Written By: Mayor Nilloc


The Great Exodus
The reason we had to found this new Colony is because the Government of New Jackson decided to open up trade and borders to the Sangheili continent of Sangheilitopia. This angered Gulchtopians and caused a divide between anti-elite and pro-elite cities. Eventually sparking into a civil war. And the reformation of the New Jackson government split from a democratic presidency to a tyrannical empire. And the previous president Jackson, united the anti-elite groups under one banner with the assistance of the mayor of Gulchtopia. So NILLOC went out to colonize a new land to get away from the Split-Lip loving Phaggots and to send aid back to those fighting the G*y elite loving pieces of S***. So as we begin our new lives in this new land. A war wages back home and we shall never forget those we have lost and all we have left. And we pray that the Jackson brings victory to our old land and that we may return in the near future ( perhaps fall 2012 ;P )

Strange New Life Form Discovered
Recently a little boy named Alfrey Nobelskie walked out into the woods against the advice of his mother. As he walked out he heard hissing and ran back to his house. Witnesses say that he was being chased by a four legged green creature that followed him into his house and exploded ! An angry group of men went into the woods to make sure there were no other creatures. Only 3 of the original 15 came back the men claimed that these creature are indeed real and they tend to try to sneak up on people before exploding. People have tended to call these creatures " Creepers ". Governor NILLOC commissioned a campaign to promote awareness of these creepers. Here is a common poster.
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Mon Apr 14, 2014 5:30 pm

Minecart Express Issue :2 (Minecart Express was a paper we used for the minecraft version of Gulch)
Originally Published: April 1, 2012
Written By: Mayor Nilloc


Native People 
Recently native people of this land have been discovered. They appear to be primitive and unable to fight. They look like this and live in small villages. Although they don't use weapons or armor some villages appear to have blacksmith houses with weapons,tools,and armor. These villages typically have 3-4 large houses, 5-6 small houses, 2 guard towers, sometimes a church, as well as a blacksmith, and a couple of stores. Some people believe we should steal their stuff and tear their villages down for resources. But others such as Dual secretary Kboom believe that we should just leave them alone. The Governor for one believes that it is fine to pillage their village!

The Root of All Evil

The Ministry of Finances has finished the tax system that will be burdened upon the citizens of New Collinstanople, that we will have to endure. He has formatted this plan at a comprehensible level, and the Minister of Propaganda is in the process of making it suitable for public viewing and will release the document revealing many of the nuts and bolts of this new plan, and how much you may already owe the government. As Our economy is very limited at the moment, we will all need to do our part to get the new colony's economy rolling and growing. The Minister of Propaganda would like to let us know before hand of the document's release, that nothing will be cheap in the beginning, especially since materials will be scarce at first. Do not be surprised if you end up owing 50% of your income to the government, just because you make more than @20 a day.

War Never Changes

More news for the civil war this week:

The President Jackson recently signed a trade agreement with the UNSC Merchant Marine, a civilian run military trade organization, bolstering the economy of Gulchtopia.

After New Jackson threatened Dilltopia to end it's neutrality, Dilltopia stated that it's Naval forces were capable and willing to defend the city at all costs. Following this, New Jackson proceeded to launch a full naval assault on the city. The Dilltopian navy didn't stand a chance, and the city was forced to surrender to New Jackson.

New Jackson launched a naval blockade on the city of Islandtopia, cutting it off from the rest of Gulchtopia. Sources say they only have a couple weeks of supplies, then they will have no choice but to surrender.

Killball Clan forces successfully defended Forestopia from the attacking New Jackson army that crushed them previously.

Gulchtopian forces successfully routed New Jackson forces defending the fields outside the city of Antopia. Gulchtopian forces are now gearing up for an assault on the town.

UNSC HIGH-COMM has voiced political support for New Jackson after New Jackson stated it's loyalty and subsistence to Colonial authority and law.

The Sangheili High Chancellery has maintained it's trade relations with New Jackson and announced it's political support for the integrated colony. The Arbiter however, recommends the Sangheili government stay out of the affair, as assisting the colony will not benefit the Empire in any logical way. The Sangheili Council disregarded the Arbiter's claim as "Boring".
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Wed Apr 23, 2014 12:58 pm

I like how there was all this lore of war and involving fiction about the other cities near Gulchtopia.

I'm thinking it would be a good idea to add that back in.
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Wed Apr 23, 2014 3:25 pm

yeah. although the war's over. We won.
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Wed Apr 23, 2014 3:39 pm

Still talking about other cities would be interesting
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Wed Apr 23, 2014 3:43 pm

yeah it would.
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PostSubject: Re: Old News Articles   Sun May 11, 2014 10:27 pm

Week In Review: Nilloc Interview
Originally Published: January 31, 2012
Written By: IWishIHadXbox




Today on Gulchtopia, I interviewed Nilloc. Here is the interview:

Twir-What is the financial status in gulch?
N- theres a -blam!-ing abundance of money.

Twir-What are your feelings towards elites?
N- kill all those damn split lips.

Twir- What about the NJAAER?
N-If they buy a house to meet in, I will personally burn it down with my cumbustable lemon launcher.

Twir- What does the Nilloc Industries do?
N- We make weapons to kill people and medicine to heal civies.

Twir-Why was N.I established?
N-To help the community. And to -blam!- with the elites.

Twir- What was the worst thing you've ever done to an elite?
N-We lit one on fire with the cumbistible lemon launcher, we fused Elite DNA with dog DNA once, that was funny to watch. Oh, and we locked an elite in a room with a moose. He was dead when we unlocked the room.

Twir-What do you think of the Elite petshop?
N-I liked it. I had a bad one. but then i put it down. then i got a good one.

Twir-Are you aware that elite racism causes 50% of crime in Gulchtopia?
N- Its good crime. i dont care.

Twir-What if there was an elite rebellion?
N- I would put those split lips down with Tanks and banshees.

Twir-last question. What if there was another zombie outbreak? how would you help the civilians?
N- I would board up all the N.I employees in the tower and drop guns off. the police can fend for themselves.

Established
NJAAER-we protect elites rights. Pe are anti pashist. We are soon to get a small house(with firebomb insurance) and a podium for speeches. We will overcome racism and hate to elites. Sign up for our group. Contact me on Xbox live at IwishIhadXbox

Real Estate
Blank apartments for sale for 500$

k Boom
We were supposed to have the police chief for an interview, however he declined. When confronted he said "I will not cooperate with competing newspapers. Look for a special edition on Josh, the terrorist.

*Photographer job is still available*

Thats it for this edition of the week in review, this is connor, signing off.

[Edited on 01.31.2012 5:33 PM PST]
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