We're Back Everyone
That's right y'all. The Gazette is back and once again under the ownership of Nilloc Industries. We are once again committed to bringing you the news as soon as we can bring it to you. We are also still hiring reporters, if any of y'all are interested, Contact Nilloc.
There will be one new thing about how we run the Gazette. In the comment section, post what you thought about the news or any questions you have. Ones that seem alright will be posted in a special section of the next issue.
The Tale of Two Immigrants
Immigrants are a common sight in Gulchtopia. They are known to come off the boat, get into trouble and soon end up dead. A very few actually become good, Rocky Fearing citizens. Today some of our reporters followed two immigrants that both became citizens. Despite arriving at the same time, the paths they took quickly differed.
The two citizens are named DubstepHero and SentryBloody. They both arrived today on the same boat, at about the same time. Both of these men also quickly found their way on the wrong side of the law, getting arrested for some petty crimes. This is a typical story for an immigrant. This is also the point where their stories diverged.
Dubstep soon found his way getting involved in bumfights put on by a dark element of our town. With the petty cash in his pocket, and his immigration papers pushed through, Dubstep started going on violent sprees. He started by breaking into the home of Former Goose Gang leader, Gary K. Inside Gary's house he found several weapons and used them to engage police. After killing two cops, Dubstep is injured by Officer ChristmasPuddin, and thrown in jail. After getting out of jail he is believed to have taken the bus out to the island before killing the bus driver, however this is yet to be proven.
Sentry took a different turn after his first half hour in Gulchtopia. Our reporter said he saw Sentry on the beach, staring at our grand statue of Rocky, before going to the Church of Rocky and picking up a Rocky Bible. After intense study of the bible, he approached our Mayor and requested a job at the Church, spreading the word of Rocky. Taken aback by the odd request from someone who only recently even heard of Rocky, the Mayor agreed to let him try working at the Church. Not even a half hour later, Sentry has gotten the church more organized and set up a regular service that happens in the Church at 5:00 left in the game.
It's interesting what a positive effect Rocky can have on a wayward soul in Gulchtopia. Someone that could have just been another scumbag criminal, has become a productive member of our society.
That's it for us at the Gazette in our opening issue of 2016. We hope y'all continue to read, and as always, Stay Crazy Gulchtopia.