You either die a homeless bum or live long enough to see yourself become a rich dick that kills homeless bums.
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 Gulchtopia Gazette Issue (1/31/16)

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The Mayor

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Join date : 2013-03-15
Age : 23
Location : MESSISSEPPEH !!!

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PostSubject: Gulchtopia Gazette Issue (1/31/16)   Gulchtopia Gazette Issue (1/31/16) I_icon_minitimeSun Jan 31, 2016 10:00 pm

Rising Bumfighitng Star Scares Former Champ

Recently Mythic Wolf has been making his name as a kick ass professional bumfighter. After an extensive training regimen paid for by an unknown party, he has become considered by most to be the best Bumfighter in the Gulch. This popular opinion was more or less cemented in when Mythic beat former champion SentryBloody in a match that many considered to be a massive upset. 

Most citizens of the Gulch already know of Mythic's meteoric rise. What many don't know is that Mythic recently sought out the former champ before SentryBloody, Silent Wolf. It is known that SilentWolf started his career by beating the then undefeated MythicWolf. This past week, MythicWolf reached out to SilentWolf in order to challenge him to a rematch. Our sources say that SilentWolf declined the rematch and has been facing ridicule in the bumfighting circles. The Gazette will keep you updated as this story develops

Mayor Kidnaps Cop and Demands Surrender

In our town this last week, there was a massive misunderstanding between the Mayor and the Police. The situation got quickly blown out of proportion and it ended up leading the the Mayor's guards getting engaged with the Police. Now, many citizens know what usually happens in this situation. The last two times a situation like this developed, it led to a civil war with the Mayor's side winning. This time however, things were different.  

This time, the Mayor took a police officer hostage. He took the officer that was in charge of the force for the day hostage and demanded a surrender of the police. Before the surrender could be accepted a rogue cop charged in and injured the Mayor. That small victory was short lived as he was gunned down by the Mayor's guards and the surrender was signed. Thankfully a civil war was averted... for now. 

Two Foreign Soldiers Cause International Incident

On Saturday two members of a foreign nation's military stopped by in Gulchtopia. Unfortunately, they were not as smart or levelheaded as our citizens and quickly caused trouble. One of the soldiers stole the shotgun in the restaurant and was unwilling to drop it. The Mayor had to subdue him and arrest him. His compatriot tried to intimidate our Mayor, telling him that the man who was just arrested was an Lieutenant and their General wouldn't stand for it. 

Our Mayor wasn't intimidated by these idle threats and arrested the mouthy Corporal as well. The two soldiers were held in the jail for a brief time and soon deported after a failed prison break attempt. As of yet no major incident has come due to the actions of these two. The Gazette will keep you posted if this story develops. 

That's it from all of us at the Gazette,  stay Crazy Gulchtopia.
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Posts : 36
Join date : 2014-04-20
Location : Alaska

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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia Gazette Issue (1/31/16)   Gulchtopia Gazette Issue (1/31/16) I_icon_minitimeSun Jan 31, 2016 10:06 pm

That's my boy!
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Pig Commander

Pig Commander

Posts : 28
Join date : 2016-01-23
Location : Missouri USA

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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia Gazette Issue (1/31/16)   Gulchtopia Gazette Issue (1/31/16) I_icon_minitimeSun Feb 07, 2016 2:52 pm

I love the Gulchtopia Gazette keep up the good work!

I was the chief now i am a peasant that lives in the water cave and kills immigrants for fun.

Gulchtopia Gazette Issue (1/31/16) Nenndqezioiscguc3117
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PostSubject: Re: Gulchtopia Gazette Issue (1/31/16)   Gulchtopia Gazette Issue (1/31/16) I_icon_minitime

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