Daring Police Raid leaves dozens dead
Last week a dangerous police raid was carried out by gulchtopia police. The aim of the operation was to simultaneously arrest several known criminal bosses in our fair city. The body count was high even for an operation of this size, and only now are all the details coming out.
Last Sunday, Police squads totaling from three to five officers gathered outside homes and businesses racks the city. Their targets were to arrest and try three people known to be organizing crimes across the Gultch. These men were Restaurant owner Overcast Pasha, Busdriver Gdawgs, and the former gang leader who only went by the name Gary.
At 7:13am more squads were enroute to assist in the operation set to begin at 7:30, when suddenly a shot rang out from Gary's island home. One officer was fatally wounded and the others stormed the house. The ensuing firefight resulted in two dead cops and 3 dead criminals. Gary and a still unidentified accomplice fled the home on a mongoose but were promptly stopped by police.
When asked about his feelings on the raid, Chief Virus stated "Well these cops were dedicated to protecte our beloved city and rocky, they were willing to sacrifice what they know and love to keep our nation safe and strong from extremists. Yes, it was devastating loss of 3 of my best men, but they died doing what they love and i plan to keep their dying wish alive."
Many however were angered by the action and what is viewed as a focus on the wrong end of the issue. As a result, an election for police chief has been scheduled to take place around the same time as the coming elections for city council representatives.
An Interview with our future Chief
Of course the election is still a few weeks off so it is unsure who our next Police Chief will be, that is why the Gulchtopia Weekly has interviewed all 3 candidates. This is what they had to say about the important issues.
Interviewer: What is your stance on Human Trafficking in Gulch
Avery: There's Human trafficking in Gulch?
Interviewer: Just today, potential civilian rep PigCommander sold his Russian whore to another man.
Avery: Sounds more like slavery.
Interviewer: What about bumfighting? As you know the party against yours is for it, they believe it's a way to help elevate people out of poverty.
Avery: Well I think we need to reform society so people don't have to fight each other for measely scraps. Otherwise I don't care if people fight so long as the two agree to it.
Interviewer: What about corruption in the police force? How do you plan to tackle it?
Avery: The corruption in the police department is a major issue we need to address. The best way to do this, I think, is to ensure our officers are properly vetted by the city council, and are properly disciplined when they step out of line. Officers that turn a blind eye will be removed from their position.
Interviewer: What is your stance on the operation carried out by Police Chief Virus. His large anti-organized crime operation targeted several gangleaders and suspected criminal masterminds in the city leading to violent shootouts and a car-chase that left 3 cops, 1 civilian and all the suspected criminals dead. Was it the right move?
Avery: I believe that Chief Virus had the right idea with this operation, but, from the sound of it, the execution could have been handled better with more foresight, and doing everything he could to ensure that, if things did turn violent, that no civilians would be caught in the crossfire.
Interviewer: It's clear you're against organized crime, some would say that paints a target on your back. Are you worried about reprisals from criminals that like the current situation?
Avery: I would say that if someone has a problem with my stances and wants to try something, they had better hope it kills me, because I will not be scared into backing down from my beliefs.
Interview with Virus
Interviewer: What is your stance on Human Trafficking in Gulch?
Virus: That is complete nonsense, it is not something we should have. Even though if we still had elites, I would not accept it. They should be treated equals as well. Most people see elites as pets, if they were allowed in Gulch I would treat them as a citezen not as a play thing.
Interviewer: That's interesting you have that stance given your partner in the Bumfighitng party has engaged in it.
Virus: I understand he's engaged in it, that's why I plan on talking about it with him. We stand for the same things and I believe I can change his stance on it.
Interviewer: Some have said your plan to stop police corruption, cutting pay, would encourage corruption because those that engaged in it would make even more than their base pay.
Virus: I'm not just planning on cutting their pay. It depends on what they do. If they're out of control, we'll let them go. If it's only a little bad, I'll take them to court and see what the judge has to say. They can always earn their pay back by showing they're a real cop.
Interviewer: Your opponent, Kboom, has stated that your operation recently would have gone better with more planning. Do you feel that's the case? If so, how do you plan to handle it better in the future.
Virus: If I'm elected, I'll bring in more people, train them better, and secure better funding to arm them better. Give them more protection and more weapons.
Interviewer: Given your stance on organized crime, some would say you've got a target painted on your back. Are you worried about reprisals from criminals and dirty cops?
Virus: I'm not worried about that at all. I feel I can handle them. They're not a big problem towards me. More of child's play actually.
Charmless Kaa was unable to be reached. If he responds to GW requests in the future his interview will be included in a future issue.
Fanatical Priest Gets Stabbed in Prison
An unnamed priest from the Church of Rocky was stabbed twice recently in the Gulchtopia Jail. The assault happened while he was in police custody for the violent slaying of several citizens whom he accused of "bad talking Rocky."
The priest, who again will be unnamed, stabbed 4 civilians to death with a ceremonial sword which he named "Pluck". While he was in the jail awaiting an investigation, he chased another inmate around trying trying to spread his faith. Then during his visitation from the Mayor, that inmate stabbed him in the back.
This led to the priest's early release. However, he was waiting by the jail when the prisoner that stabbed him was released. This prisoner, who went by the name Faze, was released when it was determined that he was simply defending himself. Upon his release he stabbed a police officer to death. He was then stabbed by the crazed priest. When this was witnessed by a local pilot named Taco, Taco stabbed the priest in the back. Then in the confusion, Taco was stabbed.
That fortunately was where the stabbings ended and a few of the people stabbed survived. When the Priest was asked how he felt about the endeavor, he said "I'm sure Rocky is pleased."
That's it for us at the Gulchtopia Weekly. You all try to be safe this coming week, or our next report may be on you.