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 Gulchtopia Gazette 2/26/2017

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PostSubject: Gulchtopia Gazette 2/26/2017   Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:49 pm

Trial of Taco

In a trial that shocked the town and set a precedent that will likely factor into court cases in the future, one of Nilloc's guards was tried with assaulting the priest but found within his job description and defending the property. 


A picture from inside the court room


Mayor Nilloc (Center) and his guard, TacoOrBeef (right)


Roach (left) and AJ (orange guy)

The case of the prosecution in this case, led by Roach who was defending himself, was that Taco opened fire on him unprovoked and that it constituted assault. The defense, led by Mayor Nilloc, was that Taco was defending the property from someone who opened the door and entered the premises. 

The courtroom was lively with allegations, arguments and several threats. At the end of the day, the Jury ruled in favor of the defense that Taco was innocent and operating within the bounds of his job. 


Drunk Taxi Driver Arrested


On Sunday, a new taxi driver by the name of "Faded Giant" was arrested for driving under the influence of alchol. He was arrested in the bar while stumbling around. The Arresting officer, White Void, noticed that the driver wasn't able to walk straight and wasn't complying with instruction. The man was later released but maintains his job. The taxi business owner couldn't be reached for comment. 


Major Businessman to go to Court Next Week


In a surprising turn of events, respected businessman AJTO has been accused of dealing with Bubbles distribution. Obviously he has denied the allegations and a trial is set for next week. 

New Bar Rising in Popularity

Due in part to strugling finances and the absence of the owner, the city council voted to reposess Abigail's BBQ and tear it down. The funds from the sale of the resources went to building a bar in the ghetto. That bar was later put into the ownership of a recently immigrated man by the name of Thresher. Below is an add they've asked to be placed in this week's paper:


Click to see Bar Add:
 






Sermons Leaving the Church and Going to Nature


The respect for the natural world that is at the core of Rockyism has led to some unique practices by the church. One such practice that has risen to prominence is that sermons have started happening outside by the Rocky statue. This has stirred up issues with more Orthodox churchgoers who feel the old ways should be observed. One was quoted as saying:

"Church should be in the Church. If we start having sermons outside any manner of greasy things could happen!" 



A picture of what is believed to be one of the sermons

The head priest Professor Roach couldn't be reached for comment. 
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