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 Gulchtopia Gazette 3/5/2017

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Gulchtopia Gazette

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Join date : 2017-01-10

PostSubject: Gulchtopia Gazette 3/5/2017   Mon Mar 06, 2017 2:00 am

Un-Natural Disaster Delays Trial

A trial that was set for this past Sunday was put off when the NILLOC Industries Mining Office detected a seismic disturbance that was about to trigger an avalanche big enough to wipe out the city.

Immediately the Mayor ordered a mass evacuation to a backup city NILLOC Industries had built and been maintaining since the construction of our now destroyed home. We asked the Mayor why the town wasn't just located in this place in the first place when the risk was so high and he responded:

"You know how much shit we pulled out of that mountain, boy? It was well worth the risk. Especially when the risk was 0% outside the event of intentional sabotage!"

We then asked the Mayor if the government had any reason to believe there was sabotage and he responded:

"Of fuckin course! This shit happens right on the day that that prick AJ was to go to trial for dealing with drugs! And did you know in the chaos the evidence the state had 'went missing?' That shit moth was definitely involved!"


Military Grade Weapons Truck Disappears During Evacuation

During the evacuation of our city, a truck carrying military grade weaponry used by NILLOC Industries security guards vanished. According to a NILLOC Industries spokesman, the truck had vanished shortly after leaving the storage warehouse. It is presumed that the vehicle broke down somewhere along the road. However, some in the police department fear the weapon transporting vehicle has been hijacked by some criminals. At the moment, there is no evidence to either claim as the truck has not been found by post avalanche surveyors.

Rumors of extremists in the town "no concern" says Mayor


In response to spreading rumors of some sort of extremist group making its way into Gulchtopia the Mayor has issued a statement calling the rumors simple barbershop talk that "is no concern for the council when we have more important issues to deal with." The Mayor went on to say that he had full faith in our Police Department to handle any unruly citizens "the same way we did those damn split lips."
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